Part 2: homosexual ipads

Someone private messaged me with this question

I'm interested in the article in your blog about the bibles teaching in being gay. I agree with your point that I really don't think Jehovah would hold being a gay person against someone...if at the end of the day that person has a good heart.

But I was interested that your reasoning seemed to centre around it being a mosaic law, alongside lots of other random mosaic laws which we now discount. Therefore the society was at fault for choosing to cling to one law while disregarding others.

What about the scriptures in the Greek half of the bible which also condemn it? You had one in Galatians cited.

My thinking is that the bible is not necessarily anything more than a holy book written by men. There is such disparity between the God of the Old Testament who killed people for seemingly innocuous trespasses, or had people killed in barbaric ways for trivial matters (unruly children to be stoned.....by their parents!?!)....and the love, compassion and reasonableness shown by Jesus in the gospels. That Jesus would not have condemned a gay person I don't believe...yet the Hebrew God would have had them stoned.
Discuss...haha

So here is is

Part 2

My girlfriend is so smart, one of those people you meet and just know they have more common sense than the usual bear. I'm not just writing that because she reads my blog (though, in all honestly, I'm am just a little) I'm writing it because try as I may she can't see the logic in the JW religion. A logic that up until a year ago I fully believed and would have even died for.

In the brief glimpses that a JW gets about homosexuality from the 'organization' it is seen as wrong. Because homosexuality is not tempting for heterosexuals then it is something that can be easily judged and avoided. Having a set of standards for your own life is surely helpful, yet it is proud and privileged to set your standard up as untouchable based on your world view. Though the bible says little about homosexuality is says much more about love, faith, trust and forgiveness.

"Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. --Colossians 3:11-13"

In my life, I find it difficult to understand that when I think of homosexuality I actually bring to mind the couple of cases that the WTBTS use regularly to frighten it's members- Attempted rape at Sodom and Gomorrah and not inheriting the kingdom. My mind never thinks about God's eternal wisdom, justice, love, gentleness, patience or even kindness. Is that because there is more in the bible about homosexuals or is it because what I've read from the bible has been led by the WTBTS?



In John Shore's article The best case for the bible not condemning homosexuality he states

Virtually any degree of homosexual "transgression" gets treated by Christians as an absolute sin deserving absolute punishment. Christians draw no moral distinction between the homosexual gang rape in the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, the orgies to which Paul refers in his letter to the Romans, the wild sexual abandon Paul addresses in 1 Corinthians, and consensual homosexual sex between loving and committed homosexual partners.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-shore/the-best-case-for-the-bible-not-condemning-homosexuality_b_1396345.html

John Shore further goes on to make the (quite frankly) brilliant argument that Paul could not have addressed homosexuality in the way we need him to at the moment because the lifestyle of living in a committed same sex relationship was not in the group cultural mind at the time
"We can be confident that Paul was not writing to, or about, gay people, because he simply could not have been, any more than he could have written about smart phones or iPads. We do not know what Paul might write or say today about gay people. All we know is that in the New Testament he wrote about promiscuous, predatory, non-consensual same-sex acts between heterosexuals."

Can I reconcile the JW view of homosexuality with my lifestyle and stay in the religion? No I don't think I can. Can I reconcile how I feel about my beautiful girlfriend and there being an almighty creator that condemns my actions? No I don't think I can.

So where does that leave me? In a era of unbiblical 'smart phones or ipads' where do I fit in?

My gorgeous girlfriend-

My gorgeous girlfriend- what I learnt

You can love someone and not know why or for how long or with what reason or for what reason, and that person can be the best person in the whole world.
Love is grand. It is the only thing that can salve my heart. It makes me cry, it makes me laugh, it comforts me. True love forgives, tolerates, adjusts and rejoices.
Friends leave.
Some friends stay.
My girlfriend can't make the bed to save her life.... sorry honey...x

Calling all Feminist Lesbian Vegans

A call for Feminist Lesbian Vegans!!
Part 1

So I've always had doubts but, I've always said that I'll stay because what else is there for me out there, and 'this is the truth' and (blush) 'even if I don't get into the new system this is the best way to live'. Then after reading some insightful threads on www.jehovahswitnessrecovery.com about reasoning with people to help wake them up from being in a cult I realised that my reasoning was not only faulty and dangerous and sad (so sad) but misguided- because here it is- if I didn't think that I'd be in the new system why was I still in the religion? I always thought that no matter what the religion condemned me in-
worldly associations
university degree
entertainment
meeting attendance
field service (lack of ) attendance
I knew that Jehovah didn't care about those things.

Those things were imposed by man. I knew that, so I lied when I said I didn't think I'd make it into the new system. I knew that Jehovah would read my heart, I'm a good person.
However, the stumbling block came for me when I realised I was gay. I kind of didn't think even Jehovah in all his wisdom would allow that. And then, knowing how I feel about myself, and feeling that surely God wouldn't want me to die just because I like woman, especially feeling like I had no choice about who I like, I've come to reason that I need to work out what the bible actually says about homosexuality and what JW say about homosexuality.

A JW summary on homosexuality
So my understanding has always been that they don't condemn the person only the practice. I've had some gay friends and I've always likened it to being friends with people who decide to live together outside of marriage- it's their choice (clarification I see now how faulty my reasoning was in this area and how it contributed to my confusion about my own 'coming out'. Being homosexual isn't like 'choosing' to live with someone. It's not a choice therefore my comparison was flawed and something my brain used to make me think that I was choosing a different life.)
I've understood that homosexuality is depraved. That it is what you engage with just before you become a pedophile or engage in beastiality. It has everything to do with wrongful desire and is perverted. How did I come to those understandings?

The Young People Ask Book, chpt 23, pp 165-171
“What does the Bible say about homosexuality?”
“The Bible makes it clear that God designed sex to be engaged in only between a male and a female and only within the arrangement of marriage. (Genesis 1:27, 28; Leviticus 18:22; Proverbs 5:18, 19) When the Bible condemns fornication, it is referring to both homosexual and illicit heterosexual conduct.”*—Galatians 5:19-21.

Genesis says he created them, it doesn't say anything about sexual orientation. Leviticus says that if a man 'lies down' with a man (or a woman does the same with a woman) it is 'detestable' and they should be killed. And, Proverbs says that you should love your wife- again nothing about homosexuality. So really, the only scripture her of importance is Leviticus 18:22- sandwiched as it is in-between the creation of humankind and the love of humankind- the killing of the gays. So what's that about?


The book of Leviticus

The Insight book (it-2 pp. 242-244) says that Leviticus-
The third book of the Pentateuch, containing laws from God on sacrifices, purity, and other matters connected with Jehovah’s worship. The Levitical priesthood, carrying out its instructions, rendered sacred service in “a typical representation and a shadow of the heavenly things.”—Heb 8:3-5; 10:1.

But we know that the Israelites had the 'kingdom taken away' from them. Yet Leviticus was used to keep God's people holy and separate them from the nations that surrounded them. I have no problem with that. The issue arises when some scriptures are kept (Leviticus 18:22) and others are discarded (Leviticus 11.4-8 which says ‘Only this is what YOU must not eat among the chewers of the cud and the splitters of the hoof: the camel, because it is a chewer of the cud but is no splitter of the hoof. It is unclean for YOU.+ 5 Also the rock badger,*+ because it is a chewer of the cud but does not split the hoof. It is unclean for YOU. 6 Also the hare,*+ because it is a chewer of the cud but it does not have the hoof split. It is unclean for YOU. 7 Also the pig,+ because it is a splitter of the hoof and a former of a cleft in the hoof, but it itself does not chew the cud. It is unclean for YOU. 8 YOU must not eat any of their flesh, and YOU must not touch their dead body.+ They are unclean for YOU.+)

It makes me suspect that if JW doctrine had been written by a feminist lesbian vegan then we'd be experiencing 'the truth' differently.

Is your teaching up to date?

Is your teaching up to date? LOL

This is teaching box in the April 15, 2013 watchtower study article entitled "Receive full benefit from reading the bible".

Interestingly it starts off 'we want to stay up-to-date with the understanding of Bible truth' and the implication is that there is a way to be out-of-date. The semantics here limits the enormity of the statements. The fear grows because once out of date with jehovah's organization the unforgiving nature of the truth leaves you behind.

And it's all up to you. Oh that should read And it's all up to you?

It's no longer about faith and God and the bible it's seductively about you needing to closely 'religiously' following the faithful and discreet slave or the governing body- sorry explain the simple difference again. The generation update has been slid into the religious brain of the participants in the religion, wrapped in a bit of logical fear and loyalty. Most of us were too tired at the time to question it. The way the mind control was packaged I don't think I even noticed, I had for so long been walking dead.

Deadened body members, deadened heart because of it's treachery, deadened conscience, deadened intellect.

So... who did Jesus have in mind when he spoke of 'this generation' mentioned at Matthew 24:34?

Happiness

Here's the thing. Happiness makes you pretty. It makes you handsome. It makes you smart- or your dumbness not so unappealing. I have been unhappy for so long that I don't remember what 'happiness' is like. I know the academic expression of it.

I met my girlfriend on the internet. Not on a dating site, but on Afterellen- a special interest site for lesbians. We met in a chat room. We messaged each other. I found her terribly funny and she made me smile, even across the electronic pathways. Writing to her made me so happy.

Suddenly I found myself walking down the streets smiling. She later confessed that she almost got hit by a bus because she was so 'happily distracted' by me.

It is impossible to have happiness without experiencing an element of control in your life. And now I had stumbled into this beautiful friendship created by me and for me, controlled by me.

It had got to the point in the religion where I no longer had any or enough control. And I think that contributed to my depression. And I think it contributes to a lot of Jehovah's witnesses feeling pressured by the 'system' and 'weighed down' and 'discouraged'. But I can't talk for them, but I can say that since I have left, the happiness has come back. The pressure is gone and the days are brighter. I'm not happy 24/7. But the door is open for me to do so much more about my own happiness. That's empowering, that's control!

A friend of mine left the religion and her long time illness disappeared. People in the religion said that it was because she was in denial and 'running on adrenaline' and that it wouldn't last. But, 10 years later, she is still illness free. A relative of mine had several painful ailments and when he left the religion they also left him. He can't say why, unlike so many Jehovah's Witnesses he is not a doctor! But, he has a theory that the religion makes you sick.

It doesn't seem like a lot, only semantics, but the religion often tells it's followers how happy they are. And when you are in the religion and you are unhappy the only thing that happens is you internalize your feelings into illness or depression. Remember at this point, when you believe everything you read, there is no reason to doubt the truth of the 'happiness' statement. And I just kept thinking how unhappy I was and wondering what was wrong with me.

 

Further reading

http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/rhetorical-fallacy.php

http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/happiness

http://www.actionforhappiness.org/

www.livelifehappy.com

A little bit about me

When I was 6 I would walk to school. Across two high streets, past numerous private homes and through two darkened alleys. I'd also walk home.
It never occurred to me that there was anything dangerous about that, in fact it wasn't till a blue rinse haired grandmother insisted on walking me across the very busy road one day that I actually thought that what I was doing was any different to the way other people live.
Fast forward to now and I feel the same awakening. Frightful. I can now see the other people looking on at what I have been doing, which is existing in the Jehovah's Witness religion, and being a little horrified for me. Now that I see things a bit more clearly I am a little horrified myself.
I'm 40. I'm a female. I haven't left the religion officially and by that I mean that I'm still on the books and still on the radar- hence I'm not using my real name.

The thing I noticed, through the pain, when I was trying to fade away, was the apparent lack of lesbians writing blogs about their JW experiences. When you google ex Jehovah's witness lesbian you basically get 3 possible avenues for advice or reassurance and one or two sexualised accounts of lesbian seduction that may or may not have happened to or by a Jehovah's Witness. As a society we are more comfortable with lesbianism being a titillation and in the religion we are thoroughly dissuaded from anything titillating.  It's so secretive (oh yes I see the pause of irony as I type this anonymously) and it made me feel like I was the only one. In the religion you would hear stories about so and so who fell in love with a girl and they 'ran away' together. I always remember thinking 'oh god I hope they are forever happy'.

Why do you think that is? I think two things. Firstly that in the religion it is so quiet. Homosexuality is invisible, it hasn't got anything to do with the 'truth' because there basically is no such thing as homosexuality. It exists in the religion as a perverted choice- like incest and bestiality. I think that because of this quietness when woman leave the religion they don't necessarily have the language or courage to speak out. The main amount of energy must be given to leaving, not to fighting.

Or I have another theory that woman just get on with their lives. And the initial thoughts of 'educating' others is overtaken by finding a partner, making a living, being happy, buying 3 cats and going hiking- wink.

What ever the reason I've started this blog. It's a personal blog about my fading from the religion and other ramblings as I sort it all out. My hope is that my writing this connects with others and gives a voice of sorts to the unique and crazy existence of living as a closeted Jehovah's Witness.

Love?

My girlfriend told me she loved me last night. It wasn't the first time. We were holding each other and she said " I love you" and she kept saying it.

"I love you" is very rewarding for the person who says it. It engenders a feeling of well being. It makes your heart feel full and confident and makes your brain believe that everything will be ok. "I love you" is rewarding for the receiver, like a warm blanket has been placed around cold shoulders. It freezes a loving moment in time and for that flicker only you two exist.

In my mind when my girlfriend says she loves me a different neural pathway is ignited. My mind travels down the lightning lines to all the people who have ever said they love me. Most importantly stops at my JW friends and family. And instead of surges of love and trust I get pangs of despair and sadness. It shoots into my veins and pulses around my body trying to paralyse me. The iron-like fluid clogs up my heart.

 It won't always be like this. I'll learn to trust love again. The feelings of abandonment and betrayal will lessen. My body will re-program and learn to bypass those neural pathways. And when my girlfriend says "I love you" I won't flinch or vague out or cry, I'll be wrapped in the honest warm blanket of true love.